Numb

It has been a while since I have blogged. I have been mulling some stuff over in my mind and well here it goes. It isn't very pretty and it probably doesn't flow perfectly, but who cares...it is hard to write on a tiny iphone screen. 

I was sitting at the table at the clinic right around sun down and realized I hadn't looked for the sun set in a long time. This came as a shock to me since I love sun sets.  Was I becoming numb to them? Not appreciating the awe and beauty like a used to? 

It is scary how easy it is to become numb to the things around us. Not appreciating  the beauty of nature around you. Not appreciating  people that are in your life. Taking something for granted assuming it will be there whenever you come back to it. When you  can access these things or people so easily they cease to have the importance they once did. The scariest thing to become numb to...spiritual things. Just something that makes me think and keeping me on my toes. 

Two of the best friends I have made here while in Peru are Gerson who is 12 years old and his 4 year old brother Jonathan. They come by the clinic everyday, every time Jonathan yells my name and runs to me, makes me feel all good inside haha. Right before my trip through Peru I told Gerson I was gonna be gone for a bit. He understood it as I was leaving for good, he looked at me and said, don't you guys get sad? I was a little confused but in talking more he was referring to the missionaries that leave. He was asking if we are sad to leave and not see them any more. Of course I'm gonna be sad and miss the kids a ton but, talking to Gerson that day I could see it was different from the kids point of view. 

When I got back from my trip Gerson told me that Jonathan would go by the clinic and look for us, but of course we weren't there and he would get sad. In my mind it isn't very fair for us to come to other countries and meet these kids and then in a year leave. When most of us have no way of communicating with them and probably won't see them again. These kids look up to us and look forward to hanging out with us everyday only to have their gringo friend leave.  Seems messed up to me, through Gerson I saw that he wasn't looking forward to it either. There isn't much I can do to change that, I'm still gonna give them my all when we hang out. I just hope that when I do leave I don't forget quickly and keep making an effort somehow. One day I'll be back in Peru, after I finish school or something. 

I am currently working on a blog of my recent travels of the last week and a half, but i am not done. I want to put up pictures to go along with it and the internet i am currently on will not support that kind of loading. So sunday there will be a travel edition of my blog up. :)